Yesterday was kinda a big day for me. Both my final examination and ToEFL results were released. Though I was waiting for both results, I did not expect that it will be this soon. Alhamdulillah. I can say that both are better than my expectation. However, being me, I still think of all the what-ifs and I-should- have.
What if I score better in my second test?
I should have done better in my ToEFL. I should have study for it much earlier.
I think it is an attitude that I cannot escape from. I would always look back and ask myself about all those different paths that I could take. I could not say for sure that it is not good. However, it is not a reason for me to not be thankful for what I have already achieved. I am who I am today because of all those seemingly bad choices that I had in my past.
So, yeah. Both of them are good and I should really not ask for more than that.
Fatwa kaum beruk is an old article by Hamka. It is about people who rationalize things that they should not do by giving irrational excuses. You should read this article first to understand my point here.
We, human, can always create a lot of reasons for our actions. Be it good or bad. We can just create an excuse out of nothing. You can ask your friends about their bad habit and then they can tell you something that sounds plausible and convincing. And yet you know that it is an excuse.
The 27th hadith of the 40-hadith of Imam Nawawi is as following
Dan daripada Waabisoh ibn Ma'bad r.a. beliau berkata: Aku telah menemui Rasulullah SAW lalu Baginda bersabda: Engkau datang mahu bertanya tentang kebajikan? Aku berkata: Ya. Baginda bersabda: Mintalah fatwa dari hatimu. Kebajikan itu ialah suatu perkara yang diri dan hati merasa tenang tenteram terhadapnya, dan dosa itu itu ialah suatu perkara yang tergetar dalam dirimu dan teragak-agak di hati, sekalipun ada orang yang memberikan fatwa kepadamu dan mereka memberikan fatwa kepadamu.
According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said:
I came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, and he said: "You have come to ask about righteousness ?" " Yes," I answered. He said: "Consult your heart. Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil and the heart feels tranquil, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people give you their opinion (in your favour) and continue to do so."
We should know better about ourselves. If we know that our action creates restlessness inside us and we dont want others to know about it, we can be pretty sure that it is not a good one. We can create hundreds or even thousands of excuses. But deep down inside our heart, we know that our action is wrong. So, stop giving excuses that you know will never be a good justification for you in the afterlife.